Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he told me I talked like a deaf person
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I party with great urgency now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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