The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
