You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
