sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize