Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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