You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
