I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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