'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
