Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
