another moral hangover. fuck.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
