The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
