Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize