it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
