So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
