Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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