Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
