I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's blow job season.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize