In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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