I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
