I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
