I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
