she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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