I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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