your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
