What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
