I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
