I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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