found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
