I don't think brook has ever known best
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Drake has all the answers
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
