I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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