I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize