u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
