Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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