Where did you get a picture of my penis
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
