At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do vagina's smell?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
