he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish i was in the wii world.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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