Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
