That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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