You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
