So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
