opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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