This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
