My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
