If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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