who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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