so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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