so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
