Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
PANTIES FOUND
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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