never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
