He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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