if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
