I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
