Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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