I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
