tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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