tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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