kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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