i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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