just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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