Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
