If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
