Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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