Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize