So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize