Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
