no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
